When standing on the edge of a black hole it is so tempting to jump in, even if you really don’t want to.

It seems the more you try to get out the harder it sucks you down. People talk about rational thinking and positive state of mind, how can you have these when the forces pulling are so strong and seemingly out of your hands.

The silent scream inside your head is so deafening, anything positive is hard to find or recognise even when it is found. It isn’t that you look at the bad side of things, there just isn’t any good side. Breathing is a chore.

I’d scream out loud if I could, but where is the energy? It’s only there to self destruct, just to see what would happen because the way things are they are just too painful. That is no reflection on my family – my wife and kid(s) are what I live for, what gives me the strength to get up each day.