It’s been a while but over the last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling down again, almost to the point of wishing I had a gun, the pain in my head is too much somedays.

I thought this was over as over the last 9 months I’ve felt better mentally each day, if not always physically.

The job change and a heft dose of St Johns Wort seemed to have made a difference to the point where I could deal with things. Now I’m not so sure. Temper is getting shorter and sleep is becoming less. Feeling isolated again and helpless. Can’t connect to people around me. This happened last year at the sametime.

I don’t think my nans death has helped but it was certainly there before, I remember that.

This needs to stop now. Can’t go through too much crap again.